Attitude of Gratitude

Well, it has been a crazy whirlwind of the end of last week to today.
Our sweet Sienna turned 6 on Friday! :)
We had a family/friend party at our house Friday night, she had a soccer game/pictures Saturday morning, and then a skating party with her mom Saturday afternoon. Whew! It was wild and crazy but absolutely wonderful!
(pix and post to come soon from the festivities...let's just say that Sienna "DeWeil'ed" her Justin Bieber cake, not once, but twice! the sweet girl's face and hair were covered with chocolate icing! too funny)

This morning, Scott flew to Philly & then to Louisville for a HUGE show for work. This is the project he has spearheaded and been working like crazy on. Tomorrow is his first presentation and show starts Tuesday, so prayers for him would be GREATLY appreciated. I am not going to apologize for this, but I want to say that I am so PROUD of my husband! He is such an amazing man and I truly HONORED to be Mrs. DeWeil. :)

This evening, as I spent some time alone with the Lord and watched the 6:00 service online, I found my attitude shift from feeling lonely this afternoon to so grateful this evening. Not grateful to be alone, silly. But grateful for the true goodness of God. I wanted to share my heart with you. I can't promise this will work for you and your state of mind, but let me tell you. Once I took my thoughts captive, switched from focused on self to focused on Him, everything changed--for the better. Praying for you now....

• I am thankful for the pain I am in. Yes, it's true. I just realized that tonight. The endo may have had some sort of evil plan for me, but the Lord has turned it into good. What the pain has taught me is that I am not in control, Jesus is. It is not about me, it's about Him. My faith has been tested and all I held dear stretched, and I realize that this pain is fleeting and joy will come in the morning. I don't know when my "morning" will be, but it will come. Hope fills my soul. I praise the Lord for the way my perspective on life, priorities, family, friendships, ministry, relationships, and my relationship with Him has been strengthened and changed forever...all because of the endo. 
• I am beyond thankful for my church! NewSpring Church continues to feed me, my soul, and works as unto the Lord in everything they do! I am so thankful for the way God is moving and the fact that lives are being changed forever through our church.
• I am so thankful for the amazing gift of my husband. We have been married almost 9 months. My husband chose to marry me, even though I was sick. I haven't been "well" since we've been married, yet he loves me with all his heart. These past few months have been tough. But our marriage has never been stronger, my love for him never been deeper, my respect and adoration of him never higher, and our friendship never more real. I am amazed daily that I am able to be Mrs. DeWeil! I treasure my amazing (& might I say, hot!) husband! :) (I can and will say that forever and ever!)
• I am incredibly thankful for Mycah & Sienna! Both of these girls bring so much joy into my life and the love that I have for them grows daily. Though they may not be my biological children, I love them as if they are. I cherish each part of their personality and am thankful for how they teach me so much. I can't imagine life without them!
• I thank God every day for my amazing family, extended family, adopted family, and my friends. This could have been a very isolating time in life--not able to get out and really do a lot--yet God has enriched my daily life through the encouragement, support, love, care, and friendship from family and friends. From a simple text to a random call to a visit or a hug...I am blown away!

Lastly, I am most thankful for my faith. I don't know how someone can walk through an experience such as this without it. The Lord fills me with hope when the darkness is crowding in. Joy even in the midst of pain. Happiness at the times when the enemy would love nothing more than for me to be shut in a room crying myself to sleep. I rest in Him. I am not boasting about this. Dark days come. Let's be real...they come no matter what is going on in your life. I have to fight. Sometimes, when the pain is unending and the day seems so long, I don't feel like I have the strength to fight. Sleepless nights come or nights filled with almost terror like dreams. But God. When I rest in Him and not strive on my own, everything is okay. There may be outstanding medical bills, upcoming procedures, questions about how we will make it through, but at the end of the day, we trust in Him. He has us. He knows what we are going through. He will make a way.

Please know that the same is true for you. I pray you are encouraged today. Rest in Him.
Have a great week!!!

Lyrics from "My Hope", by NewSpring Church Band
I wait for You, my hope is You.
Be my strength and be my song.
When I'm weak and when I'm lost
Oh, hold me in Your hands.
Oh, don't let go. Don't let go. Don't let go. Don't let go.