frustration

wow! it's been quite a while since i've been able to grab a minute to chat with you on here! i'm sneaking in a few minutes to write/confess/be honest while the girls are busy watching Max & Ruby and also memorizing lines for a drama test tomorrow.

frus·tra·tion/frəˈstrāSHən/

Noun:

The feeling of being upset or annoyed, esp. because of inability to change or achieve something. An event or circumstance that causes one to have such a feeling.

have you ever felt this emotion? frustration?
if i'm being real, and you know i am sometimes a little too real, this has been a word to describe me lately.
frustrated or in a state of frustration
frustrated my mail inbox is over 1000 emails and growing daily
frustrated that i don't seem to be able to get a morning routine down pat
frustrated that my times with the Lord have not been what i want them to be
frustrated that one child is content with not giving her best in her school work  (*praise...training is happening and this is ssssslllloooowwwwlllyyyy starting to get better...baby steps :)*)
frustrated that bed time routines are thrown off on school days and the girls are getting in bed late
frustrated that i am tired all the time
i could go on and on...

at the end of the day (well, at the end of sunday night), i have realized i have some issues.
i have realized there are things i try to hold on to and control that i need to give up.
i need to let go of the fact that life happens and routines don't always work.
i need to remember that good habits can be formed but take time to establish themselves.
i need to remember that other people, even the people in my home, don't think like me, are not clones of me, and i have to be gentle in accepting other ideas, values, and ways of thinking.

sound simple and reading this thinking "that girl has issues"?
i hope not, but maybe you are right.
simply confessing that once i realized what my huge issues are, my perspective has been different.
i am working to correct the things that are in my power to control and remembering to let go of the things that are out of my control and not worth creating an issue out of.
the most important part of this journey through and out of frustration is realizing that my relationship with Jesus is HUGE!
without Him and His help, i will stay in this continual state of frustration and lack of happiness.

praying for you today and praying that you will keep me in your prayers.
we need each other, for sure!

In Process

Hey everyone!
I wanted to let you know that I have several posts brewing in my head and heart.
I have stumbled upon several amazing sources of vital information that has fed my soul and can only be described as words, to my heart, from the Lord.
Trying to put all that is stirring in me into words has been a bit of a challenge.

So hold tight.
I promise there is some good stuff on the way...at least it has been good stuff for me!

I will let you in on 3 of the things that are rocking my world.
I encourage you to check them out and then we can "chat" about how these things may/may not have impacted you.

THIS post is amazing!

Choosing to Cheat--Andy Stanley (Best of North Point Ministries Podcasts)
This is an absolutely amazing, convicting, challenging, and encouraging podcast.
It is about 45 minutes, but it is SO worth it.
You MUST listen!!! So so so good!!!

LOTS more to come on this topic, but for now, here is the latest book and lifestyle change I am embarking on. Check it out HERE!

That is all for now!!

Hoping that today you can: smile more, hug more, SLOW DOWN, listen more, and pray lots!
Stay safe in this wild weather (where it is stormy and foggy here in SC).
A crazy thunder and lightning storm just started....so weird! :)
Love you guys!

Gentleness...how ya doing?

I read a blog post today from my sister-in-law, Kelly, and would invite you to check it out HERE.
It was just what I needed to read, hear, and be challenged to do something about...this issue of Gentleness.

Lately, to be honest, I have not been very gentle with my words, attitude, actions, and thoughts.
I tend to be known in our house as the one who lacks a lot of mercy. While that may not be a bad thing all the time, I don't want to be known as the mean one!

So here's the deal.
Go HERE and check out what is going on.

www.womenlivingwell.org

Join this challenge with us.
I am so excited to embark on this journey of truly releasing all that I hold on to and allowing God to move an do some pretty amazing things in my surrender. I hope you will try this too!

Love you guys!

my heart

hey everyone!
today i come to the blog with a different kind of post.
you all know, if you have spent any time here, that i am completely real and honest--sometimes to a fault.
i really can't hide my feelings and so i want to be real with you, my closest friends, family, and even some of you i may never meet.
i need your help.

you see...here's the deal. i am in a state of a funk right now. i don't really know how else to describe it.
i have thought it may be some sort of depression and it seems to be increasing, not decreasing.
i am in a very weird place, hormonally. i am in menopause, medically induced, and do take an "add back therapy", but i don't feel quite right.

i have never experienced any sort of depression so i don't know if that is what is going on.
here's where i need your help.
i could use all the prayers and words of advice you can spare.
i hate this feeling and hate the fact that no matter how much i pray, try to choose joy, try to use kind words, try to be intentional and positive, the yucky comes out.
i want to sleep all the time and have zero energy--even though scott and i have started working out almost daily.
i don't sleep well at night, but then that has never been something that comes easy for me.
there are very few smiles and laughs coming from me lately and i hate it!

yet, as much as i hate it, it is still here.
ugh!
that makes me mad too!
i want to fix things! maybe that is the "man" in me or my lack of affection for being out of control.
at the end of the day i know that God will deliver me out of this season just as He has been faithful through it all.
i just hate this. i hate this for my family. mainly scott. i feel like he gets the short end of the deal and he is the one person who should never get it!

like i said, this is me being completely real.
thank you for joining me in praying that God delivers me through this and that i am patient and obedient through this process/season He has allowed me to be in right now.
i love you guys and am so thankful for each of you--those close and so far away!
know that i am praying for you too! i pray that you feel the love of our Savior just as i do...even in this valley.

here's to hoping that all of you have a very Happy New Year and that 2012 is the best yet!! (that is what i am praying! not sure if your 2011 was rough, but ours was! we are believing great things for this next year!)