hey everyone!
today i come to the blog with a different kind of post.
you all know, if you have spent any time here, that i am completely real and honest--sometimes to a fault.
i really can't hide my feelings and so i want to be real with you, my closest friends, family, and even some of you i may never meet.
i need your help.
you see...here's the deal. i am in a state of a funk right now. i don't really know how else to describe it.
i have thought it may be some sort of depression and it seems to be increasing, not decreasing.
i am in a very weird place, hormonally. i am in menopause, medically induced, and do take an "add back therapy", but i don't feel quite right.
i have never experienced any sort of depression so i don't know if that is what is going on.
here's where i need your help.
i could use all the prayers and words of advice you can spare.
i hate this feeling and hate the fact that no matter how much i pray, try to choose joy, try to use kind words, try to be intentional and positive, the yucky comes out.
i want to sleep all the time and have zero energy--even though scott and i have started working out almost daily.
i don't sleep well at night, but then that has never been something that comes easy for me.
there are very few smiles and laughs coming from me lately and i hate it!
yet, as much as i hate it, it is still here.
ugh!
that makes me mad too!
i want to fix things! maybe that is the "man" in me or my lack of affection for being out of control.
at the end of the day i know that God will deliver me out of this season just as He has been faithful through it all.
i just hate this. i hate this for my family. mainly scott. i feel like he gets the short end of the deal and he is the one person who should never get it!
like i said, this is me being completely real.
thank you for joining me in praying that God delivers me through this and that i am patient and obedient through this process/season He has allowed me to be in right now.
i love you guys and am so thankful for each of you--those close and so far away!
know that i am praying for you too! i pray that you feel the love of our Savior just as i do...even in this valley.
here's to hoping that all of you have a very Happy New Year and that 2012 is the best yet!! (that is what i am praying! not sure if your 2011 was rough, but ours was! we are believing great things for this next year!)
Hey sweet girl!!! First of all, let me tell you as someone coming from your husband's point of view...Scott loves you and doesn't mind taking care of you. It's just what you do. I have a sick husband and I have been his caregiver for almost ten years of marriage. So, don't worry about that part. Second, I will DEFINITELY pray for you. It sounds crazy to say embrace your depression, but don't fight it, and don't be ashamed of it. It's just another emotion. Pray lots, cry more and talk to your friends a lot! All I can say is HANG IN THERE. Take anti-depressants if you need them. God will certainly deliver you, but make sure you utilize your resources until He allows this storm to pass. And it WILL pass. I will be more than happy to meet with you and talk/hang out if you'd like. Take care of yourself and let your family take care of you! Love ya, girl!
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain, I too have been in a funk since Sept. I find joy in nothing, ven though I know all the right things/Jesus to place my faith in. Still cant snap out of it, very strange place to be always been able to fix myself, and your friends and family take it personal becasue it is not who they know you as, prayers for you!
ReplyDeleteHang in there Jennifer. All those adjustments of hormone therapy, even though they do good in some cases, can be very hard on your emotions. I would advise you to talk to your physician about this. Perhaps some changes can be made to make it more tolerable. You are not going "nuts". It's the hormone therapy. By the way, you don't know me but I am a friend of Carolyn's in Vidalia and a retired RN. Will keep you in my prayers. We have heard what a wonderful person you are and how happy everyone is to have you in Scotts and the childrens lives.
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