Storms

Last week, we started having a good bit of rain. In the DeWeil house, we were all woken up very early one morning with a bad thunderstorm. None of us really slept, not because of fear but because of the noise of it all. Last night, I had a hard time falling to sleep (surprise, surprise) and I laid awake while the whole house was quiet. As I was silently praying, I heard the sound of a good rain shower--no thunder or lightning, but relaxing rain. The sound of it and the peace of Jesus lulled me to sleep.

I have been thinking a lot about storms lately. It is ironic to me that I love real thunderstorms and a great rainstorm, yet the storms that come up in life tend to rock me. Just like in weather, the storms of life can sometimes come out of nowhere. Life is moving along great, everyone is happy, things are smooth, and then...BAM! Out of nowhere comes trouble, sickness, pain, hurt, rejection, or sorrow.

Maybe you have been in a storm, or are in one now, where there were warning signs of the storm. I am there now. In the middle of this Endo storm, there  have been warning signs along the way. But just like the weather, there was nothing I could or can do to prevent this. I think that is what makes storms so scary. You are completely out of control. As much as you would like to change the circumstance, test result, or whatever it may be, you can't. The only choice you have is how you respond.

I will admit that I don't always, and haven't in this storm, respond the right way immediately. I have the head knowledge to know that NO MATTER WHAT Jesus is with me, He loves me, He has a plan for me, and He will be faithful. But at the moment when the bottom falls out, it can leave you scared, anxious, afraid, mad, hurt, angry, confused, and questioning a lot of things. I have found that right now, in this storm, there seem to be more questions than answers. If I let myself hyper focus on all the questions, the truths I know can be drowned out.

This song has been ringing in my head. At all hours of the night and day. I say these words and truly mean them. This is where I rest...in Him. I can't change my circumstances, though I desperately wish I could. I can't make the Endo go away. I can't work and help provide for my family, although I deeply miss it and long to be able to go back soon. But I know that I can praise Him through this storm! He is faithful. He will always be faithful and good. Though my situations and circumstances change, He never will. I die to myself now and forever. Lord, have Your way!

Casting Crowns "Praise You in this Storm"